I knew that E.L. James’ scintillating tome, “50 Shades of Grey” had reached a critical mass when my mom mentioned it. “Have you heard of that book?” she asked. “What book?” I replied, hoping that my phone might burst into flames. Of course, I knew exactly what book she was talking about.
My mother was surprised that I hadn’t already read it. “A woman at my gym mentioned it,” she said. “And I told her that my daughter gives love, sex and dating advice in a column and on television so she must have that book.” My dear, sweet mom then asked me to order her a copy from Amazon.
That was the tipping point as Malcolm Gladwell would say. Then, my childhood officially went up in flames when Bob Saget starting talking about the book on “The View.” This was after the episode where Barbara Walters asked Elisabeth Hasselbeck of her husband, “Do you like it when he’s rough.” Oy vey. The less taboos the better, so this can only be a good thing, right?
So, what now? You’ve read “50 Shades” and now you want to live “50 Shades.” Good for you. Women who are willing to explore sexually are more confident and satisfied in their everyday lives.
Three ways to incorporate “50 Shades” into your love life:
Who’s in charge?
“50 Shades of Grey” tells the story of a virgin who becomes the willing sex slave of a wealthy older man. The taboo nature of their BDSM relationship is part of what has lead the book to break all sorts of bestseller records. BDSM is a form or erotic play or a way of life meaning Bondage, Domination, Sadism and Masochism. There are other variations on the way the acronym is translated.
All tied up.
If we start with the “B,” bondage is the use of restraints in a sexual encounter. The cover of James’ novel shows a man’s necktie as apparently this is what Christian Grey uses to bind Anastasia Steele. A person could be tied up with anything from rope to handcuffs. You can find a range of restraints online and at a women-friendly sex shop such as Good Vibrations or Babeland.
In for a spanking.
Slappers, floggers, crops, paddles, teasers and yes, whips. These are some of the items you can experiment with for the “50 Shades” physical discipline effect. Don’t forget to choose a safe word other than “no” or “stop.”
Inexperienced spankers and spankees should do a bit of research before just going for it. There are parts of the body where a hard spank even with a hand could critically maim someone. You may also want to pick up Rachel Kramer Bussel’s “Naughty Spanking Stories from A to Z” to get you started.
Enjoy your “50 Shades” of play… and be safe.
Want more? Find me at The Passionista Lifestyle Blog for more expert dating and relationship advice and sexpert cheat sheets. Tell me what you think on twitter @abiolatv.