I guess as a guy and a husband my view on what a good wife would be is a little limited. All I really have to go by is my wife, and if you’re as tolerant as she is you’re a good wife in my book. I read this unnamed comment in an online newsletter where a wife had some concerns; here is what she said.
“I think that I am a good wife, but my husband doesn’t seem to appreciate me. I work full-time (and make more money than he does), pack his lunches, cook his dinners, serve him his dinner, pay all of the bills, care for our 3-month-old son, arrange to spend time with HIS family, and much more.”
“The only chores he does at home are the dishes and his own laundry. (He also works). I do everything else. I try to look attractive for my husband. I always dress nice and take good care of myself.” “I have lost 20 pounds and plan on losing more. I always try to encourage him. I write little love notes and put them in his lunch.”
“I let him sleep in on weekends while I get up with the baby. Don’t get me wrong…I am a strong woman and don’t “bow down” to my husband, I just support him.” “I want to make sure that he is happy and doing well. However, he doesn’t seem to notice anything I do for him. How can I get him to appreciate me?”
I really wish I knew who this wife was because I am sure that she is not alone. Now, just like my article on “Am I a good husband” I am sure that opinions will vary with men on what a good wife might be like. But there has to be some characteristics that apply across the board.
Like this wife above, and like mine, I am sure there are many wives that carry a heavy load from day to day. But, wives, do you have to do that in order meet the “criteria” of a good wife. I say no. I think a good wife can be caring, nurturing and affirming without all that extra hard work.
Of course adding the role of motherhood really adds to the work load, but that too should be shared. After all you didn’t make that baby by yourself. To this lady I quoted above, I say yes, you sound like a pretty good wife to me and your husband should appreciate you.
Here is a thought from Destiny, “My husband and I aren’t getting along anymore, and I have tried to make him happy, but nothing works. I have tried doing all the things he likes, I cooked him nice dinners, I even tried to watch football games with him!” “But he’s just not happy, and it’s starting to grow on our kids! Please Help Me!”
Good luck with that guy Destiny. Question: why is it that for some husband,s and wives too I guess, that defining a good wife is based on how much she molds herself to the likes and dislikes of her husband.
If you just don’t like sports than you just like sports. How hard is that. That should not define you as a good or bad wife. The one statement that really rubs me wrong is “if you loved me you would…” you fill in the blank. And husbands that can be a doubled edge blade. If you loved her you wouldn’t “require” that she does certain things.
If you are keeping his belly full and giving him a “good job honey” from time to time, in between cleaning your house and tending the kids, than you are most likely a good wife. You could pinch him on the butt though from time to time, that’s kind of nice.