At the psychic gatherings we used verious methods to discern our own energy to help ourselves and to help others in the world. One of my favorite things we did from time to time is when the teacher, Cynthia Zang, daughter of Patricia Mischel, would select one person to sit in a chair in the center of our circle. The person in the center would speak a few sentences (to raise their energy up to be picked up on by those in the circle around them) and what, if any particular area of their life they wanted to know about. One by one the people in the circle would call out what they were seeing, feeling, or in whatever way they “picked up” about the person in the center chair.
This circle was a great way to practice and to get feed back on what we “sensed” as far as accuracy goes. One night it was my turn to sit in the chair, I was excited and scared at the same time. What others would see about my life and the situation I was in. Words and sentences came out to me from the circle and they were all exactly right, but the one that stayed with me the most was the word stuck. Ouch, really me? It was an exploding eye opener to me and it sparked an inner regenerating fire.
Are you “stuck”
People are stuck in jobs, in bad deals, in their home, without a home, with other people. Today we have more options than we have ever had in the United States, we couldn’t be more free. But there are so may who find themselves “stuck.” We are creatures of habit and we do not like change at all. But you grow-out of situations and you have to learn to roll with the punches, go with the flow or you get stuck and you stagnate. You must find the courage and strength you so badly need, it’s in there somewhere, and pull yourself up and out of your painful circumstance.
In a marriage to an alcoholic, is where I was at the time of that gathering, and scared to death for everyone to know my secret. I didn’t want anyone to know what was happening to me and my children and they way we had to live. I had been riding the fence from my 35th birthday to my 40-something birthday about leaving. I was known for being a free, but responsible spirit in my life, prior to this part of my life, but now I was sitting on the fence and it had been along time with no decision or action coming from me.
It is painful and uncomfortable being in the middle of “stuck”, it’s one of the worst places I’ve ever been in my life. Not making that one decision spilled over into every aspect of my life and it was taking over. Once I made the decision an enormous weight was lifted from me. Life became simpler and flowed easily now, I was happy having direction in my life, and I wasn’t “stuck” any longer. I had something to work on again, and my life had new found meaning. All I can say is why didn’t I do it sooner, I could breathe and live again. The sky was blue and the sun shined, before that moment everything in my life was a dull gray.
Who is “stuck,” people who do not move on or make a move in life liek they should:
- The Vet who is suffering from Post Traumatic Stress and still hits the ground everytime an airplane passes overhead.
- Your friend who is still seeing and sleeping with a married man/woman.
- The neighbor’s husband who keeps traveling so he doesn’t have to deal with his responsibilities at home.
- The alcoholic or addicted person.
- The hoarder.
- The procrastinator.
- The overscheduled.
Pick a stuckedness and you are there because you are:
- or you do not know who you are.
Becoming unstuck is terrifying. At least when you are stuck you know what to expect each day, and you can live with that, well sort of. But when you make changes to leave stuck, it is taking a leap into the unknown and it’s not knowing what will happen day-to-day that keeps you in it. Lazy may sound harsh but denial is a sort of laziness. Accepting your situation for what it really is, is the beginning. Allowing new beliefs about yourself and taking action.
You know you are really stuck when:
- Your friends and family tell you they don’t want to hear about your situation anymore, because you are not doing anything about it. All you do is complain about it.
- People around you are telling you that you are not pulling your weight and taking up the responsibility or responsibilities you have.
- You are stepping on other people’s toes to get what you want.
- Your happiness is all that matters to you.
- People around you keep telling you to grow up, wake up, smell the coffee already.
- You are the man/woman in the box.
- Oops you did it again, you keep making the same mistakes/relationships over and over again.
- You dress like or act like a child instead of the age you are. This can be obvious or not, but a 30-something wearing boy-striped shirts and sitting on the couch playing videos games is a dead give-away. And the women, well you know what I mean.
- You live in the past as if it were still happening to you, and everyone you talk about it with, just rolls their eyes when you begin.
Habits and hurts
Hurts, we all have them and depnding on the size of the trauma, we get stuck at that age and we never move on. In time you may come out of it on your own,getting over traumas and life stressors does take time. But if others can see what you can see you are taking a too long of a time and are telling you about it, you may need professional help, or some fire under your behind.
It is not a habit. When you call something a habit you take away the fact that it is your fault, and that it is out of your control. Hogwash. It’s easier to say I’m sick than it is to say, I’m sneaky, I’m selfish, I’m shallow, I disrespect my relatives, and so on.
You’re sick alright but not in the way you want it to mean. That is why it takes some people a devastating life change or epiphany or to hit rock bottom a few times before they “snap out ot it.” Letting others fall is not being mean, not rescuing someone continuously is allowing them to grow and learn responsibility and that famous phrase, “I Can, I Can Do It.”
Just put one foot in front ot the other, even if it means baby steps. A baby learning to walk does not stop if it falls down, even if it falls on its head, that baby will get right back up again over and over again until it masters walking. We are in this together and I’m pulling for you.