The movie Cabin in the Woods, starring Chris Hemsworth is about five teenagers who do the typical, not-so-smart thing and spend a weekend in a secluded, dark, moldy, creeky, skeletal cabin that’s deep in the woods.
We know where this is is going but follow me anyway. Yes, there are predictable elements. You know, group of frisky kids partying, dabbling in medicincal (*cough, cough*) herbs, they get intoxicated and…wait for it…wait for it…do the ever so popular, “Truth or Dare” game.
Of course, this is the moment when one of the characters (obviously a female) will be asked to do some dastardly deed and venture deeper into the house. This is also when strange things begin to happen. Queue background music, sound rolling and…action!
There’s also some frolicking in the woods (I’m sorry, I never understood what was so appealing about making out in decayed, wet, mossy and creepy forest). And yepper, you got it… right about now, one of the ‘lead’ characters does something stupid that will unleash a restless and destructive super-natural, paranormal, or zombie-like being onto the earth.
Eventually you learn a thing or two about this particular cabin, such as…it’s really a facility created to sacrifice people for a ‘greater cause’. (I know I’ve spoiled alot for you already, but dagnabit, I’m going to withhold this part, in case you are hypnotized and forced into seeing this movie against your will…just a little something to look forward to).
No, I wasn’t hypnotized. I’m a film columnist for ovalpike.com and it was my duty to take the bullet for my fellow moviegoers. What’s that? Hmmmm…okay, okay…you beat it out of me…I saw this as a matinee purely because Chris Hemsworth is in it. Happy now?
I know people. I am ashamed…NOT! After all, Chris is on a hot streak and I vow to be there to support him every step of the way! This blue-eyed, aussie (aka , THOR Avengers) with the devilish side grin is major eye candy. I nearly forgot how bad the movie was. So, don’t rule me out just yet. We all slip from time to time.
I like campy, B-movies, every now and again; I really do. I enjoyed Attack the Block, Vampire Killers (I can’t believe that I liked that but it grows on you), and who doesn’t love the cult classics Army of Darkness or Gingersnaps? But Cabin in the Woods does not deliver anything but two beautifully created men, =Chris Hemsworth and Brian J. White.
Overall production was nice and there are elements to it that you can like, if you open your mind. I just refuse to give it a horrible rating because Joss Whedon wrote it! Directed by Drew Goddard, who also co-wrote it with Joss, and starring Kirsten Connolly, Chris Hemsworth and Anna Hutchison, I give this movie a rating of , Wait for DVD .
Learn more about my movie rating system here!
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