It has happened to a lot of women, the darting dad. It is especially hard when they dart as soon as they hear that you are pregnant. Through support groups, I have heard stories that range from completely ignorant, to completely scary. I have heard women saying the the father just disappeared, and one woman even said that the father demanded proof of pregnancy for his attorney. If you are in this situation, trust me, you are not alone and there are ways that you can get through it.
Do not stress about the missing father. Enjoy your pregnancy to the fullest. You don’t need dad around while you are pregnant if he is going to cause trouble. You do not have to meet any demands from him while you are pregnant, you do not have to file court paperwork, you do not have to give him any sway, and your body is your own. He cannot tell you what to do with your body. Even if he is angry and demanding an abortion, that is not his say, it is yours. There is no reason not to tell him the truth, or simply not tell him anything at all.
After the baby is born is when you should take action. A paternity test will prove that he is the father, child support will ensure that your child will get what they deserve from their father. Custody court will ensure that everything gets put right in the ways of the world. You just need to file the paperwork, and set back and be a good mother to your new baby.
If you feel that your child’s father is threatening, or just flat out wants nothing to do with the baby, make sure to take notes of your communication. Keep accurate notes about the point of the conversation, and make sure they are in order so you can turn it into the judge. Remember, chances are that the father will get visitation rights, but it is important to prove where he stands in case he attempts to file for full custody.
Support groups are very important for women who are going it alone. They can help you understand custody court and their experiences. They can also help ease your mind and find your inner strength. Don’t let a darting dad take away what your child deserves, a healthy, happy life.