The world of love is an easily solved mystery of emotional giving which is best depicted for me in a quote from Dr. Leo Buscaglia, author of Love: “What love we’ve given we will have forever. What love we fail to give is lost for all eternity.” So, let’s take a look at some of women’s wishes that you might want to share with the man in your life.
1. Loving devotion in a committed “we” relationship
Action speaks louder than words. A devoted man is respectful with the time shared, respectful of her work, her friends, her family, and their togetherness.
Women want a “we” relationship rather than an “I” relationship, as Randi Gunther, Ph.D. noted in Psychology Today:
“We” is a state of mind and heart. It means that wherever one partner is, the other is present in their thoughts. Partners who consider themselves a “we” act that way. When you talk to partners who live with and in the heart of their beloved, you experience that commitment in every way they present themselves. They communicate a pride in belonging to their partner. It’s a powerful feeling of “us” over anyone or anything else. Promise Keepers – The Committed Partners Who Stay Faithful to Each Other
2. Thoughtful, honest behavior
Women like men who stay in touch and are honest with them about their thoughts and whereabouts. Even Kevin Solin writing for the Huffington Post recently seemed to understand one of our top wishes—emotional honesty. What Do Women Want Anyway?
Women require truthfulness. If a guy slips up he should say so, without crafting a carefully worded email.
We like phone calls and text messages and little signs that you are thinking about us. Flowers are always in good taste. As for emails — really guys, a quick email with a fun note is fine, but women are not looking for pen pals.
The University of California, Irvine, released a study recently which was co-written with United States Army researchers. They “found that people who do not look at e-mail on a regular basis at work are less stressed and more productive.” Taking E-Mail Vacations Can Reduce Stress, Study Says.
The same holds true on the home front, especially for women who work all day and face the email barrage.
4. Generosity of spirit
Women like men who are good money managers, but who are also generous in spirit. Giving men value women and in talking to men it is surprising to find how many really do enjoy coming up with gifts that they know will be appreciated. These men also understand reciprocity—giving a woman pleasure will result in her desire to give pleasure to him. See my Psychology Today column: 6 Reasons Gift-Giving Men Are Good Lovers
5. Satisfying sex
Satisfying sex ranges from romantic to wild and crazy. With 75 million readers of romance novels according to a February 2011 report—courting has not lost its attraction. Yes, it is sheer romance when two people experience the power of love by transcending all obstacles. Reality doesn’t stem romance novel sales UPI.com
But women are not just living the fantasy life waiting for Prince Charming, sex plays an important role. Women became buyers in the soft porn market that began to explode in 2009. Today 50 Shades of Grey— has become a run-away trilogy of success with over 250,000 copies of e-Books sold.
If your man needs “training”
Dr. Scott Haltzman writes books aimed at empowering women and men to keep their relationships and marriages strong and loving. In Secrets of Happily Married Women he said: “Your actions can show your husband how to care for you. As you cater to your guy, he’s watching and learning what marriage means. He’s enjoying the love and care of his wife and will soon feel, if he doesn’t already, the desire to do the same for you.” Dr.Scott.com
Can it be that satisfying a man’s desire is the secret to lasting relationships and lifelong love? At the very least, it can be a firm basis for a happy relationship balance.
(Adapted from www.ritawatson.com and my Psychology Today blog)
Copyright 2012 Rita Watson/ All Rights Reserved